Who Are You?

Did you know that we exist as a different person to every person that we know? Let me explain. I am my father's daughter and I will always be that but in his mind, I also exist as a singular individual with a personality of my own. Who I am to my father is different than the person I am perceived as to my friends.

The reason why I'm talking about this today is that it just occurred to me how little control we have over our image - public and personal. We exist as a different person in every person we meet depending on how we react around them and what we choose to show to them. 

It begs the question; who are we, really? I've always wondered that about myself too when I'm alone. I question myself often when I feel particularly uncomfortable with how I react to certain situations. 

One of my biggest fear when it comes to my own character development is that I'd succumb to what's called the "herd" mentality -  a condition described as a person who's easily influenced, and reacts and thinks the way the people around him/her thinks just because he/she wants to feel or be included, thus discarding reflective thinking and his/her own unique opinion. I try my best not to fall prey to this type of mentality but I can tell you that it's a tough ride especially when your opinion is disfavoured by many (and that's usually the case).

Before I go on, I must point out though, that influence per se is not a bad thing if it leads to goodness but relenting to influence to the point that anything someone says or does goes (bad and good) without much thought on our side is downright unhealthy. 

This brings me to an important point: how do we nurture the capability to be comfortable with who we are and to be resilient in being ourselves despite the influence and judgment that exist around us?

I think before we tackle this question, we need to know who we are first (our principals, likes and dislikes) and use that as a foundation to improve and grow as individuals. Character is an important part of growth and if we plan to stay as we are then our growth will be stagnated by an unhealthy aversion to change. This in itself breeds complacency and by the time we know it, we will be at the end of our lives with nothing to look back on but regret on not living our lives to our greatest potential, and everyone has potential. It's a matter of whether we want to live up to it or not - that's our own choice.

Famous quote by the singer of the Doors

I've always thought of my mind as a blank space that I can do with what I will. When I was very young, I'd go and lie down on the grass in the garden, closed my eyes and imagined I was elsewhere (this action is heavily influenced by Alice In Wonderland and Pocahantas). My thoughts would run wild whenever I did this and often I'd carry on playing the characters I often imagined in my mind in actual reality. I was and still am an oddball of a sort. I used to feel excluded in school because most kids my age were well, kids, in my eyes. But then as I grew older, I started embracing the weirdness of me. In this world where the fear of missing out runs rampant among many people, my inability to comprehend this fear has saved me from a life of misery (at least, that's how I see it). No judgments here but I don't see any good in it.

So how does acknowledging our own unique characters and improving it help in maintaining our own personality despite what the herd is doing or saying? Well, from my own observation, I'd summarise it this way; building your character requires a certain amount of mental strength and discipline and when you acquire those coveted characteristics, then you'll have a presence of mind to reflect and think on the actions and thoughts of others before coming into your own conclusion.

This is why I think it's important to lay foundations of your own character and to groom yourself to assert your own positive principals, whether consciously or unconsciously when making a distinction between right and wrong. 

That's all from me for now. Next up - an excerpt from a short story I'm currently writing. 

Still the most stubborn woman,

SFK