Kindness In Pain

Mother Teresa is the epitome of kindness. I read about her struggles once
and I was deeply moved by it. The fact is she found the strength to be kind
despite the hard life she went through during her early years of working
with homeless people. (Image sourced from Google)

Let's talk about kindness and pain. How does one be kind when one is in pain? Is it possible to be kind even when all one wants to do when facing a certain kind of pain is to inflict that pain upon the inflictor?

I can't call myself a life coach but I know pain. In fact, I would go so far as to say that I'm well-acquainted with pain. It's like an old friend that visits every now and then. I'm not talking about physical pain rather it's the kind of pain that leaves you feeling empty and hollow inside like someone ate it all up.

This is the most agonising kind of injury in my opinion because it touches your soul and your very core. However, one must always believe that pain is temporary.

I took a long bath last night. There I sat in my bathtub, in the dark (toilet bulbs blew and I haven't replaced it), and I thought of all the things that have hurt me in the past and of the things that are hurting me in the present. Silently, I cried. I poured water on my face while crying because I was afraid that my children would burst into the bathroom and see me crying.

Why do I care so much that my children don't witness me hitting rock bottom? I care because I know how it'll affect them. I care because this is my way of demonstrating kindness by not allowing them to carry my burden. My children have seen me cry before and I know that it affects them emotionally when I'm sad. My eldest once asked my sister, "Is Mommy sad because of me?" because she saw me crying. That's when I realised that I can't share my sadness, at least not with my children, not now when they're so young and carefree. So last night, after my tearful bath, I played with my kids a bit and I told them a bedtime story and this made me forget whatever pain I felt. 

Being kind when you have the ability to destroy the person who hurt you is I think, the most difficult thing to do. There's this dialog from a movie I love, Little Women, that sums this up -  "I get in a passion and get so savage. I could hurt anyone and enjoy it." - Jo March, the main protagonist, said this to her mother after she got into a fight with Amy, her sister, which prompted Amy to come after her and caused her to fall into a deep icy pool in the process. 

Nevertheless, we must think - to what end? What good is hurting the inflictor of your pain which will give you naught but only a temporary satisfaction? They say 'revenge is sweet'. I disagree. Revenge is not sweet because revenge will only hurt you in the end. 

There's also the part when you're hurting and you just want to lash out at every person unfortunate enough to cross your path. But do you really need to? Being patient when you're in the mood for being an insolent cad is also an act of kindness. Why ruin another person's day just because yours is? No doubt it will require every ounce of self restrain but to be able to hold yourself from doing so, I think that's kindness.

Here's the wonderful thing about being kind when you're in pain, you'll almost certainly feel better that you acted in such a manner. Performing an act of kindness, no matter what it is or whatever state that you are in, is really a great way to feel good about yourself and your situation. This is especially when you're helping someone who is far less privileged or is also having a bad day themselves. Truly, one act of kindness goes a long way indeed. Especially when you're hurting, most importantly when you're hurting.

Still The Most Stubborn Woman Who's Feeling Better Today,

SFK