Good mother, bad mother

Some call them trophy moms; moms who look bloody good in heels; who are as graceful as swans when handling their younglings; who smile in the face of a wailing child.

Wow! I can only say that I am in awe of these wonderful role models who have set the bar quite high for other mothers. No, I am not one of them. I hope to be one day; but by that time, my girls would probably be old enough to help me do the dishes.

Sadly for me, I can only criticise myself silently for being such a failure at 'mothering' sometimes. Try as I might, raising a toddler; a breastfeeding infant; and a chatty 6 year old, is the most difficult task I have ever undertook and I struggle with it on a daily basis.

Sometimes, I feel so bad for losing my temper that I'd go on feeling gloomy (rightly so) for the rest of the day. Alas, my three girls almost always succeed in cheering me up. It's just them being themselves. It makes my heart swell with happiness. And then I'd feel bad again for scolding them before, but that won't stop me from nagging and scolding again in the future. It's a never ending circle, really. But I guess it's a roller coaster ride that I'd have to take time and time again.

This is my learning curve, a way to make me become a wiser and more patient person. If there are mothers out there facing the same dilemma that I am facing now, I feel you.

The only thing we can do is to take one day at a time. Don't expect a routine, not when it comes to children. Yeah, I mean meal time is still meal time; but do not expect them to behave as well as they did the day before because children gon' be children, and that means a lot of unpredictability.

So mammas, gear up your heart and mind with lots of love for the ride of your life. Xxxx

Mel