It Started With A Spark

A & S

Yello, everybody! Missing cookie finally has some time to make her return-of-the-cookie-monster tonight! Errrr....(like you've been saying that for weeks, woman) So, ok. Since this place is practically my fuckin online diary. I'll have to update everything in here before I grow old and grey, and start to forget things.

Where shall we start? Hmmmmmmmm.... Well, the MCO has been a very enlightening period for me. I got a new job offer recently and will be starting at the new company in a month (too good to resist). I'm so excited at this new prospect because I will be doing what I love best - Marketing!

Many things have changed, especially so in terms of my own personal development; I decided to give myself a break and stop worrying about things too much, with just faith and hope. For once, I'm pro-actively trying to NOT be a skeptic about everything and to give life a chance to flourish and see where it takes me. And......................(long 'and' there) well... when you decide to go with the flow and not force things to happen... well, things will happen and magic happened to me.

I met him at the start of the MCO last year, and it all started with a spark. No, I'm not over-dramatising. It really did start with a fucking spark... from my aircond switch. MEH! I tried fixing my stupid aircond switch on my own and the thing fucking blew on my face and sparks came out of it. LITERALLY. So I texted several handymen nearest to my housing area, but none of them could come, so I browsed a bit and found his site and I contacted him and he told me he could come the next day.

The first time we met, we didn't even see each other's face (or at least I remember it as such but he remembers it differently - it's something we debate on quite often). While he was working on my aircond switch, we started talking and funnily, we ended up at my garden chatting for the next few hours. A few days later, I had to fix my window locks so I called him to come to my place again to fix it on the windows (drilling is not my forte), and so he did, and again, we ended up talking for a few hours at my garden. He's well-read and speaks in a cultured manner.. those were the first things I noticed about him. I guess it's because of him having worked in the media industry for many years before he decided to quit and run his own business.

Anyway, to cut the story short  nope... I feel chatty tonight.. so read on if you don't find this boring. After the second meeting, my first thought was ok so that's that. I didn't think about any further communication unless I was going to hire him again to fix something. A few days later though, he texted me and from there we sort of chatted every few days. I was taking my time because I didn't want to make the same mistake I did the year before. And then after about a month and a half of this, we started talking more and more then finally he asked me out for a date one day, and I was like fuck it... it's been 8 fucking months that I've been a total recluse... I like this guy, so why the fuck not? And really, today, I'm happy I took that chance.

I shall call him Andy here. Fast forward a year later, I'd say we're still in the midst of discovering each other, and I think, and hope that there will always be something that we can discover in each other or from each other or just together. What I like about Andy is that he's so forthcoming with his emotions and with his expectations, which basically puts me at ease, and the fact that he's willing to accept my expectations helps infuse some sort of stability into our relationship, I guess. 

We've had ups and downs too at the start. I must say that I was very distrustful of his intentions at first (because I'm just pessimistic as fuck and that has been one of the things that kept me away from giving other people a chance to get to know me) and I still am but God, the man's trying so hard to earn my trust and I want to give it to him, and so I consciously reminded myself again about my promise to myself to let things flow.

We talk. A lot...amongst other things...😆 (stay focused, Shaza.). The communication part is wow! Just wow! But we both agree on one point and that is - we need to be more open with our emotions (especially me) and not let it out in ways that leave the other wondering, "What the fuck is wrong?"

He has met both my parents and my WHOLE FAMILY too along with the aunties and uncles and cousins. Lucky me he's very well-spoken and charismatic so he pandai ambik hati and I think my dad likes Andy better than he does me now. 😆 I'm relieved that I can just let him mingle with my family and he's more than happy to do so.

You know one thing I've learned is that chemistry is one thing but not the only thing. It's that wanting to make things work that really is very important in a relationship. I used to think ghosting is well, just me being me. It turns out that with the right person, ghosting is not even a thing. When there's a problem, you talk about it. When you're annoyed, you talk about it. When you have a big fight, you kiss then you have rough sex (eh tiber) and then, you move on and learn from it, and that's life, no? It's all about evolving and learning.

(some pictures below)

Polishing my shoes before my interview. 

Macam mana tak sayang. 

Cair............

One tall and handsome milkshake, please.

Still The Most Stubborn Woman,

SFK