10 Things My (Younger) Self Should Know

Hey girl,

Your future-self has just turned 30 last month. In an alternate universe (if there is one) where you are now younger at about 19 years of age, you're about to face one of the most complicated challenges in your life - the freedom to choose. I have a few things to say to you before you embark on this treacherous journey called life.

1. Stop being so fucking nice to people who don't deserve it. Those girls you like to belanja and let use your stuff without restriction, well, they're going to be the ones who'll take scissors to cut your clothes up. Don't bother trying to convince yourself that rats got into your cupboard. That isn't the work of fucking rats. You'll find out who the culprits are from your two best friends in college. Listen to them. These guys care about you.

2. Stop pleasing others when it hurts you. I know you like to put on a smile and act like as if everything is ok and then, cry in the bathroom when you're alone. Well, DON'T. It will damage you eventually. Tell that asshole who tried to insult you in front of the whole class to shut the fuck up or he's going to jail (misuse of power is allowed in certain situations to induce intimidation : ) ).

3. Bravery is over-rated. All those stupid things you did just to seem brave and cool; not OK. Face it, girl - you're a fucking nerd who will never fit in with the crowd. Remember the time when Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows came out and you chose to stay in the dorm to read instead of joining the other kids partying? Exactly.

4. Speak only when you need to. It's not your responsibility to entertain idiots. Move away from them if you need to. Run, Girl, Run!!! Don't waste your time speaking to negative people.

5. Find something productive to do every day. Start a new good habit, and I say 'start' because really, what is anything without a starting point.

6. Seek advice from Papa if you're in doubt. You may have your differences with Papa and you may be rebelling against him at every corner but trust me, he only wants what's best for you. He loves you more than life itself. See the main reason why you and Papa are always at each other's throats, is because you confuse him. It's understandable that you think you can't tell him things because of how paranoid he can be but that's the thing about being a parent, you can sense danger from a mile away. So when in doubt, talk to Papa.

7. Don't, don't, don't keep your emotions bottled inside. It's a fucking loop from hell. If you don't feel happy with what a person is doing, say it to their faces. It will not dissipate if you ignore it.

8. Learn to leave. Dammit girl! You have so much potential in you but you keep on letting everything you want go, just to be of service to others. Your life is yours. Do with it what you want. Leave those who don't appreciate your presence and who think you're a fucking waste of space. Because you are not that.

9. Don't be afraid to love and by love, I mean to love yourself first before you love others. There's no such thing as sacrificing your individuality for the person you love. If a person loves you, he will accept you as you are with all your dirt. You'll get your heart broken sometimes but it's ok. Open up. Love. With. All. Your. Courage. I say courage because that's what you need when you give your heart to someone else. 

10. Oh and this one needs to be said (and it's a reminder to 30 me too), stop over-fucking-thinking. It's not going to make you feel better. Let things flow naturally. If it's meant to be then it's meant to be.

P.S. Cursing is good for your mental health. :)

Left: 2008, right: 2019

Here's how you'll look in 11 years.
Minus the 50-shades-darker-skin (literally)
and the jawline, you look almost the same.
So, no worries in that department.

Yours Forever,

SFK