Inconvenient Thoughts.

Is it just me being insecure? Or is there something more? What is it that I know not of? That I want to know, but I do not know. Is it better not to know? To keep my peace and hold my tongue? The pain of which befuddles my mind every now and then. I like to pretend that there is nothing to know. Nothing to worry about. 

In my mind, I question the logic of my actions all too often. I ask myself why I keep allowing dangerous thoughts into my mind? Why I keep forgoing all of those thoughts to save my puzzled heart? I know what I do not know can't hurt me. I guess this is one of the reasons why I don't linger on painful questions. I cant deny the fact that, no matter how I try to eradicate those unhealthy thoughts, I'm more and more consumed by it. I concoct scenarios in my mind of what could become of me. I make up catchy dialogs and scenes to soothe my worries, if that which could be, becomes.

I'm a simpleton. Anyone could read me like an open book. I display my distraught mind through emotional outbursts and loud wails, accompanied by big fat tears. That's what I am and I can't do it any other way, even if I want to. So, at the end of the day, to avoid a spectacular drama on my part; I decide, as always, to forgive and forget. Though the latter method seems to remind me again of all that I want to obliterate from my senseless mind.