For my children

Dear babies,
While you sleep i pray your dreams are only that of much happiness. I pray to god that he protects the both of you from harm and from sadness.

My dear zara,
You may not know how to read this now. May not understand what mummy is saying now. You may not know that my love for you is never ending and that every time i think of you, my eyes floods with tears of happiness because i have you.
Yes you my baby,you my first. Like a true love,first borns are more special. You see, when you were nesting in my tummy, we were what i considered the best team in the world. For 9 months we lived in a unison of breaths.
I went everywhere with you. I love you too much that it scares me sometimes. And when you came, oh when you came, i found my meaning in life. You became my wisdom.
Tidak beban memikul zara. On the other hand, it gave me so much delight to be able to give you the best i could. You are growing into an intelligent girl. I just hope i can continue to educate you and shape you into becoming a good mukmin.
I have loved you from the moment i knew you. Im sorry, sorry for not being able to give you the perfect family. It was only you and me at the start and we both know it. Now it's me,you,daddy and adik. Not to mention grandpa and grandmama who adores you.
I love you and will love you forever.

My lovely hannah,
You are not but a month and a half old right now. Oh yes, it maybe many years from now that you will come to understand me.
See darling, god sent you to me to prove that miracles in my life will always exist. I have loved you even before god sent you to me.
Do you know,that when you sleep at night, i look at you for long hours, thanking god for each moment i am with you?now you do. The sparkles in your eyes made me love each and every moment of our labour.
Oh i remember, i remember my excitement to have you. I would say 'nanti kan bila im in labour....' to daddy so many times. You came and replenish what energy i had left for life. My only wish is that i could educate you into becoming a good mukmin.I love you and will love you forever.

My loves,
If indeed when you come to understand this. I hope you will understand the whats and whys of my actions. It is only for your best. If i am around i hope you will love this poor sensitive woman that i am more and more. If i have departed this life i can only hope you will love me nevertheless and pray for my wellbeing in the afterlife.

My biggest joy was to give birth to you,zara and hannah. Now im complete.